It Takes a Virtual Village: The Blogging Mom Phenomenon
Jackie Papandrew’s son had morphed into an alien.
Gone was the cute little boy who used to call her Mommy. In his place was a sullen teenager who called her “Dude.” Almost overnight, he changed from a talkative child into a young man who communicated with his family primarily by text message. He used to beg his mother to read to him-now he refused to budge from his video games. Once, he would happily introduce her to his friends. Now, he pretended not to recognize her when she picked him up from school.
The change left Jackie bewildered and heartbroken.
In decades past, she might have talked about it with her friends over drinks, or sought advice from an aunt or an older sister. She might have found comfort in her relationships with friends, family, and neighbors.
Instead, she wrote about her experience and posted it on BlogHer, a network of blogging women. Soon, dozens of other women responded with comments offering support and sharing stories about their own teens.
One of the people who responded to her story was Lisa Stone, BlogHer’s co-founder. “I staged an interpretive reading of this post for my son, age eleven,” she said, hoping that by laughing with him now, she might avoid seeing him go through a similar transformation later.
“It Takes a Village to Raise a Child.”
In earlier times, when people lived most of their lives in the same close-knit communities, most parents had a solid network of friends and family to depend on.
Today, the village is dissolving. Instead of staying in the towns where they grew up, many parents move, leaving behind childhood friends and family. And when most parents work full-time, there’s very little time left over to forge new friendships. Parents of teens face more challenges today than ever-and they often have to deal with them alone.
But blogging moms may be changing all that.
Blogs-the word is derived from “web log”-are websites with dated posts similar to diary entries. Anyone can start one, and on public blogs, anyone can read and leave comments.
Parents get into blogging for many reasons. But the common thread that runs through most start-up stories is a desire to connect. “In an increasingly nuclear society where more and more households have two members who work, parenting can be extremely isolating. It requires an enormous amount of love, money, advice and support,” says Lisa Stone. “That’s why blogging is so popular – blogs are like a kitchen counter online where today’s parents can meet.”
In BlogHer’s case, it’s a big counter. This online network of female bloggers was founded in 2005. In just two years, the network has grown to include over 10,000 blogs-including 3,000 that focus on parenting. Many bloggers and readers connect through networking websites that feature blogs with common interests.
The Benefits of Blogging: What’s In It For Parents
“[Blogging] offers immediate feedback and validation, something many parents don’t always get during the day,” says Amy Nathan, who writes at Kvetch Blog. The instant feedback offered by blogging communities can be a source of comfort for parents.
It’s also an instant network of experienced parents. “It used to be that you had to go buy a book or talk to a licensed specialist to get advice,” says Amy Keroes, CEO of Mommy Track’d [www.mommytrackd.com], a resource site geared toward working parents. “Now you can consult a whole world of experts-other parents-to get information and advice.”
Both are definitely true for Marijean Jaggers, mother of a 17-year-old boy and a pre-teen girl. “We moved from St. Louis, Mo. to Charlottesville, Va. in the middle of my son’s sophomore year in high school. It was a rough time for all of us,” she says.
Her son wasn’t happy about moving. “His initial reaction was anger,” says Jaggers. “After several days of hearing ‘You guys suck,’ I’d had enough.” She chronicled the move on her blog, STL Working Moms.
Parents who had been through the experience weighed in. They advised her to discuss the move with confidence, be reassuring about the kids’ fears, and avoid apologizing. “Our kids…more quickly accepted our decision since they learned there was no debate and we had nothing to ‘feel sorry’ for,” Jaggers says.
In decades past, parents raised children within a network of neighbors, family, and friends. Blogs bring back that sense of community. Today, we’re not as isolated as we think-not when there’s a virtual village out there for every parent.
How to Start Your Own Blog
• Get a sense of what you like. Join an online community such as BlogHer, MommyTrack’d, or MomJunction. Read a few blogs and get a feel for writing online by leaving comments.
• You don’t have to know a lot about web design to start your own blog. Use a free platform such as Blogger or Wordpress. Blogger is a bit easier for beginners to use; all you do is open an account, choose a template, and get started. Wordpress has more options, but you’ll have to install it on your own and it can be a little more complicated for those who are not technically inclined.
• Pick a topic that interests you and write about it. Leave comments on blogs that share your interests and include a link to your own. Soon others will find your site and respond to your writing.
• It’s important to respect your teens’ privacy. Avoid mentioning them by name or posting pictures of them on your site.
Blogs for Parents of Teenagers
Kvetch Blog: Entertaining blog written by a mother of two teenagers.
STL Working Mom: Mother of a 17-year-old boy and pre-teen girl, writing about her experiences as a working mom.
Suburban Turmoil: Blended family blog run by a stepmother of two teenage girls.
Suburban Correspondent: Blog written by a mother raising and home-schooling her teens.
Jackie Papandrew: An award-winning humor columnist who writes about her experiences raising teens.
Chores and Allowances: Tips and advice for parents on educating their teens about finances.
Parenting a Teenager: This blog, moderated by parenting author Christina Botto, allows readers to contribute articles.
Dealing With Today’s Teens: Advice on parenting troubled teens from a Christian perspective.
On Being a Dad: Blog run by a divorced father of teenage boys.
Blogging Networks and Communities
BlogCatalog: Searchable database of blogs, including blogs of parents with teens.
BlogHer: Network of female blogs and columnists, including parenting blogs.
MommyTrack’d: Online resources for working moms, including blogs and columnists.
MomJunction: Social networking site where moms can connect, ask and answer questions, and read blogs on parenting.
CafeMom: Networking site for moms to start discussion groups and find tips and advice.
This article was written on behalf of Parenting Teens Online.